القائمة الرئيسية


How do they become "cuckolds"? 5 psychological reasons pushing to change

 Hello friends! Vorobyova Elena, a practicing psychologist, is in touch.

Statistics say that 25% of women in Russia cheat on their husbands, and 75% of men cheat on their wives. That is, betrayal is not uncommon, but quite a popular phenomenon. I want to look at this from the point of view of psychology and identify the reasons that push people to cheat. Then it will be possible to find resources to overcome this problem and draw conclusions for the future.

The most common reasons that push for betrayal

Reason 1: Avoidance of intimacy. Oddly enough,  cheating is a great way to stay away from your partner. For someone who cheats for this reason, there is a fear of being too dependent on a partner. Such a person will never show his vulnerability. Relationships on the side allow you to protect yourself from pain and disappointment in this way.

Reason 2. Decision to leave. When one of the partners has made a decision to leave, but has not yet implemented it, cheating helps in this. On the one hand, the cheater wants to be caught in order to shift the responsibility for ending the relationship. On the other hand, this is how an unfaithful partner asserts himself and is distracted from the difficulties and troubles that exist in the current relationship.

Reason 3. Sex addiction.  As a rule, behind such betrayals is the low self-esteem of the unfaithful spouse. He changes all the time and thus compensates for the feeling of not being good enough. Every betrayal is a small victory. What does it matter to a person with whom he starts adultery, the fact itself is important.

Reason 4: Avoid conflict. This is the case when there are hidden or obvious conflicts in a couple, but there is no willingness to solve them. As a result, the more dissatisfied spouse begins to cheat and does not even try to hide. This is very similar to the teenage rebellion  "I do not agree with you, so I will do it to spite you . " Most often, such couples break up because the partners do not find the opportunity to sort things out and resolve differences due to their psychological immaturity.

Reason 5. Empty nest.  The children grew up and left the parental home. If earlier all the time and attention was paid to them, now the spouses are left face to face with each other. At this moment, they (or one person) can understand that there is no love anymore, the relationship has been reduced only to everyday issues and they begin to look for happiness on the side. In this case, the lover is idealized, and the spouse is devalued. And treason is carefully kept secret.

Thus, most often cheating  is  a way to get away from an unhealthy relationship in a couple.

Friends, what other reasons for cheating would you add? What have you encountered in your life?