The most common advice for those who suffer from a lack of love is "to spend more time together, to ask for participation in a common life . " Almost any psychologist writes about the need to involve another through joint leisure activities, as well as through requests for help.
All this is bad advice and will not work. If we recall the theory that a person needs some kind of advice, this is the one who needs more in a relationship.
This means that the second is less, because if it were the same, then the need of the first would be completely satisfied.
How to proceed in such a case
One wants to be closer, the second tries to maintain independence, or vice versa. The second, as it were, is burdened by the first and cannot find motivation to develop relations in the future.
As a result, the second person is forced to invest, despite the fact that he does not want to, so the motivation in the relationship fades away.
Next, we are offered to ask a person for help, which increases the feeling of heaviness. This happens on the principle of "professional help".
You are an architect and once upon a time you promised your friend to fix the design of his house. You did not want to take the money, so you agreed for free, then a lot of work piled up, and the promised will not be done. This intensifies the feeling of guilt.
Calls from acquaintances will cause an annoying feeling, and during meetings you will not want to show your eyes. If you are less loved, then you need to make sure that any attraction is completely blocked, according to psychologists.
Tips from knowledgeable people
There are tons of advice like this all over the internet. Beneath them is the logic of "helpless fools". Many still believe that helplessness is a quality that can attract other people. Therefore, many are accustomed to pretending to be helpless and "whining".
At the moment when the other person wants a relationship with you, helplessness is perhaps the most disgusting thing that can happen. Most who seek similar advice often imagine the trauma of a loved one.
Now, if she had an accident, then I would take care of her. If she wasn't attractive, she would also be around. I recovered by a hundred kilograms - the same way.
Let's say you develop websites, but at the same time you live in a village where such a service is not in demand. Working on the Internet is not for you; you don’t want to offer your services in cities.
Go shopping, advertise your services everywhere, and nobody needs it. Then you lower the price, thinking that the problem lies in it, then - and at all for free. Next, you make a website, and only then people begin to wonder where such generosity came from.
This is your weak position. So who among those who became interested in your offer, having learned that it is for a fee, will trust you after that? Yes, no one.
That is why the most correct way to behave in such a situation is to offer something interesting to the second. Interesting not only for you, but also for him, not to do, but only to offer.
deeds
However, there are always reservations. You need to understand the value of each of your actions. In those relationships where you need more - your steps are the exchange currency, and they are worth much less than the currency of the second. This is what needs to be kept in mind.
Very often, girls find themselves in such situations when a man comes when he wants to, by his arrival a woman must be assembled, put on make-up, must prepare something and clean the apartment.
Men are trying to create the best experience for the second half, the woman, in turn, agrees to meet him only because of boredom.
One person will adapt, and the second will do what he wants, because the significance of the first is high, and the second is not. Each step of one of them costs several steps of the other.
The point is clear. If a young man does not carefully prepare for a date, choose better restaurants, then he will only fill in even more steps into the exchanger.
If a woman tries to "revive" an indifferent lover, and in addition will offer herself, she will only bring down the exchange rate. It was already not very profitable, and now it’s not good at all, because for a bored man, free ears are the norm.
In this scenario, you will never get attracted to you from the other person. Maximum - the attitude will be slightly better than before.
A person understands this almost immediately, having collapsed the course, therefore, trying to resolve the situation, he wants compensation for the collapse of this course. No one asked him about it, he himself is to blame for everything, and now he asks for gratitude for this.
In such a situation, the most effective thing is to do something for yourself, while not forgetting to share with others. A person should see how you move, but not feel it. Pressure will gradually disappear from the relationship, so no progress should be expected. Relationships neither deteriorate nor develop. The second person will feel light, but not guilt or any obligation.
Important things for your soulmate
It is very important to do something important for another person. Such investments are usually one-time, cause positive emotions. In this way, you can motivate your soul mate.
If you are not able to do something, then it is better to skip this principle. In the end, it is important to remove the pressure and take reciprocal steps, realizing that a breakup is inevitable. This phenomenon is temporary, the result of which is your corrected image.
It is necessary to indicate the period of time during which, in the absence of any changes, you will break off relations with him. Break forever, without "but" and other excuses.
Your investments in this case will work for you. Within a month, a person gets pleasure, and then it stops abruptly. Further, everything will only cause a desire to return back, but on different conditions.
It is very important to understand that your frequent steps towards another can cause discontent and rejection in him. Therefore, it is necessary to reduce the impulses several times.
At the very beginning of a relationship, everything you do is pleasing to the other side. This includes both physical attention and emotional attention.
All your investments should be pleasant to the person, and not cause him a feeling of disgust.
تعليقات
إرسال تعليق